A Touch of
Winter
By
Tara
Devaney-Thompson
28/0/2018
© 2018 by Tara
Devaney-Thompson. All Rights Reserved.
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(This is Fan
Fiction Based on the character of Bucky Barnes or, known as, the Winter
Soldier. No copyright Infringement Intended.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WARNING: 18+ ONLY. This story contains graphic sexual descriptions.
1
His eyes were
the most beautiful she had ever seen but, and this made her heart ache, they
were also the deadest. Sometimes she
wondered if he actually felt any emotion. He never smiled or gave any
indication that he felt any pain in any way. She so wanted to see behind the
mask he wore day in and day out. Ever since Steve had broken through the mind
control that Hydra had forced on him he had been trying to find his place in
this new world. She had the job, as his therapist, to help him with his
readjustment. Day by day he was beginning to remember his past. This was not
always easy for him because, along with his mind they had erased his emotions.
For months she
had been working with him to try and regain his former self but, so far,
nothing had worked. It was proving impossible to elicit responses to emotional
stimuli from someone who had no emotions. She would have to find another way to
get through to him. She had been pondering on it for a while now and, until
now, had thought of nothing. Then she while reading a test book on primal
behaviour she had finally come up with something. It was unorthodox to say the
least but it may just work. It was also highly frowned upon and emotionally
charged. Still, it may work so she decided to go ahead.
The idea was to
go back to man’s most primal urges. Hunger, defending his home and, this was
probably the most important one, sex! Yes, she had decided to use sex to
possibly finally get through the conditioning he had been subjected to by
Hydra. She had tried everything else she had in her arsenal so she had nothing
to lose in trying this….or so she thought. They had an appointment that night
so she had better get everything ready. First she had to set the right mood.
This was not going to be easy to do as her office was not set up for
lovemaking. Then again, who said they had to meet in the office? She picked up
the phone and called him.
He agreed to
meet her at her home so she gave him the address and, after hanging up, sat
back and thought about how she was going to handle this experiment. That was
how she had to think of it…an experiment. If she thought of it as anything else
she ran the risk of becoming too involved emotionally. He was, she had to
admit, becoming more to her than just a patient and this could prove dangerous.
It was understood implicitly that as a therapist one did not become emotionally
involved with your patient yet, here she was, about to become a lot more than
emotionally involved. She was about to commit the cardinal sin of her
profession. She knew it was wrong but she could think of no other way to get
through to him that she had not already tried.
2
She left the
office shortly after the phone call to him and made her way home. She needed
time to arrange things to make the atmosphere conducive to what she was trying
to achieve. As she set to work setting everything up she began to wonder
whether she was doing this for scientific or personal reasons. Finally done she
sat at her desk and ran through it in her mind. As she planned it all out she
began to feel something that she should not have felt…excitement. Why she felt
this way had nothing to do with her role as his therapist but rather that she
was about to make passionate love to a man she was sexually attracted to.
Admitting to herself that she was physically
attracted to Bucky made her sit up suddenly. This made what she was about to do
something entirely different to that which it was originally intended. This
turned it into purely sexual desire and need. Tonight she would strip away not
only her clothes but her ethics and oaths as a medical practitioner. This was
going against everything she had sworn an oath to uphold. And, right now, she
didn’t give a shit. All she could think of was Bucky’s hands on her and his
cock inside her. Her hand had found its way to her pussy and her fingers were
already playing with her clit. She was on the verge of coming when she heard
the pounding on the door.
Snapping back
to the here and now she rearranged her clothes and went to open the door.
Pausing only to get her breathing back under control she opened it and there he
stood. She would never get used to how beautiful he looked. All dark hair and
blue eyes with those full kissable lips and square jaw. He was tall and broad
shouldered with amazing long legs that ended in a perfect butt. The rest she
could only imagine but, after tonight, would know intimately. She invited him
in and watched as he walked that slow, loping walk to her living room. She
followed and once there told him to sit down. She walked behind the chair he
had plonked himself into and placed her hands on his shoulders. He jumped to
his feet startled.
“I am sorry
Bucky. I didn’t mean to startle you”
He stared at
her intently.
“I don’t like
to be touched. You know that”
“Yes, I do but
it is something we need to work on if you are going to truly reintegrate”
Bucky just
continued to stare at her. She needed to get him to relax though this was
something he seemed permanently unable to achieve.
“Really. We do
have to conquer that if you are ever going to have a normal relationship with
people”
“I find it
difficult but, if you insist, I will try”
“Good! Then
let’s start with some trust touching, okay”
“Trust
touching?” he questioned.
“Yes. This is
where we gently touch each other while standing no closer than arms reach. Do
you think we can try this?”
He stood
perfectly still and rigid while she moved to arm’s length from him. He did not
move. Reaching out her hand she touched him gently on his right arm. Not
wanting to cause problems she was deliberately ignoring his metal left arm. Not
that it was easy to ignore. His eyes kept watching her face. Slowly she moved
her hand further up his arm. She kept going until her hand had reached his
lovely face. At this point she so badly wanted to kiss those luscious lips but
she knew she needed to go slowly.
3
Her fingers
began to trace the contours of his jaw. His head tilted a little to the left as
her hand reached his neck. She moved in closer. She could feel the heat from
his body and hers began to respond in kind. Closer and closer she moved. He
stood firm. Soon she had her body pressed up against his and she was barely
holding herself back. She then said,
“Bucky, touch
my face”
“Why?” he
asked.
“So you can
feel the softness of my skin. This is something men and women do to each other”
“I do not
understand”
“Just touch me,
please”
He reached out
and placed his hand on her face. His touch was surprisingly gentle. He had long
expressive fingers that now moved to cup her chin. She felt faint. She could
feel his body’s automatic response to her proximity. She now knew that nothing
Hydra had done had completely wiped his essence. His body’s primal urges were
still there and she was going to make use of them right now. Her other hand,
until now resting on his shoulder, began to travel the length of his body down
to his hard cock.
She had
wondered how big he was and now she knew. More than adequate it seemed. It was
very hard and very thick. She reached around to the back of his neck and pulled
his face to hers. Quickly, she placed her lips on his full lips and kissed him.
At first he did not respond but, after a few moments, her tongue gained access
to his mouth and he began to return the kiss. His lips were soft against hers at first but,
as the kiss grew in intensity so too did the urgency and pressure. His tongue
explored her mouth as his hand explored her body. Her own body was on fire from
his touch. When his hand touched her pussy she almost jumped out of her skin.
4
She broke away
from him and he tried to drag her back but, she took his hand and took him to
the bedroom. At the bedside she reached for his shirt and began undoing the
buttons. He watched as she slowly undid each one and started to push his shirt
off his shoulders. Suddenly he grasped
her wrist and, for the first time, she could see some emotion in his eyes. What
she saw was a mixture of pain and fear.
“No” he said.
“Why?” she
asked.
He looked at
his metal arm and she realised the fear he displayed was to do with his prosthetic.
“It’s okay
Bucky” she told him” I don’t care about your arm. I want you to touch me with it”
“But I might
hurt you”
“No you won’t”
“You can’t be
sure of that, I can’t be sure of that. Besides, what is the point? I can feel
nothing with it”
“No, but I can.
You can use it to please me. Do you want to please me, Bucky?”
“I…I…don’t
know! I feel…!”
“Yes, how do
you feel?”
“I feel strange. I feel yet I don’t want to feel. You confuse me and I don’t like it. Why does my body want to respond to you this way?”
“I feel strange. I feel yet I don’t want to feel. You confuse me and I don’t like it. Why does my body want to respond to you this way?”
“Bucky, my body
responds to you too. It is normal. I want to help you remember what it is to
feel again. Do you want to feel again?”
He looked deep
into her eyes as though he was having trouble deciding about his feelings and
whether he wanted them. She waited not wanting to push things too far.
“I want to feel
but I am afraid. I am beginning to remember what it means to feel emotions and
how you can be hurt by feeling”
“Yes, you can
be hurt but you can also feel great joy and pleasure. Right now I want you to
experience pleasure again, Bucky” she told him as her fingers started to undo
his jeans.
She could feel
him pull back but wasn’t sure if it was to sop her or to give her easier
access. She looked up into his face and saw his desire and confusion.
“I promise you
I will never hurt you, Bucky. I only want to help you. Let me show you, please”
After a moment
he let out a small sigh and relaxed. She pulled down his zipper and freed the
hard, throbbing cock that strained against the material. She was surprised at
the size of it. She had not suspected how big it was but was pleased. She
clasped it in her hand and felt him gasp and shudder. Dropping to her knees she
took him in her mouth and began to suck and pull on him. He leaned back and
pushed into her mouth. She kept pulling and sucking as she held him with one
hand and clasped his balls in the other.
5
His hand moved
to hold her head. After only a few moments of her mouth on him he suddenly
pulled back and out. She had tasted the pre-cum on the tip of his knob so she
knew that had she continued he would have come in her mouth. He placed his
hands under her armpits and raised her up to kiss her deeply and the turned her
to the bed. They fell together with him on top.
She felt the
weight of him and it felt so absolutely right. His mouth found hers again and
their lips ground together even as their hips also did. She took his metal hand
and guided it to her panties. He understood and lifted himself up so he could
grip the lacey G-string. Gripping it with the strength of that hand he ripped
it from her effortlessly. She arched her back and he touched her with the tip
of his metal finger. As the cold steel met her warm, wet skin she gasped and
jumped. He thought he had hurt her and withdrew his hand but she grabbed it and
placed it back on her throbbing clit.
Though he
couldn’t feel her he could see that she was enjoying the touch so, with just
the right amount of pressure he began to rub that pleasure spot as he watched
her respond. She had gripped his cock and was running her hand up and down the
length of it even as he rubbed her. They both revelled in the feelings that
their mutual touching was causing them. Her moans were enough to tell him that
he was not hurting her and the throbbing in his cock told her she was causing
him great pleasure also.
As the tempo of
their pleasure increased they both knew that they were close to climax and,
without speaking she moved to allow him access to her cunt. He raised himself
again so she could guide him into her wetness and then, with a mixture of tenderness
and urgency, pushed himself in as deeply as he could. He felt the tip of his
cock hit the back of her cunt and her back arched to accommodate him. He began
to pull out and then push in. He moved slowly at first but with their
increasing need, faster and faster. Her legs rose up to encircle his hips and
her hands gripped his ass. She was pushing up to meet his thrusts with equal
intensity and he marvelled at how they fit so well together.
6
He was watching her face and wondering why he
could feel everything physically yet, even in this moment of true intimacy,
could feel nothing emotionally. Then, she opened her eyes to look up at him.
Her eyes were like mirrors in which he could plainly see himself. What he saw was
enough to cause him to lose control and begin to cum. He tried to fight it but
she, sensing something momentous had occurred, denied him this ability. She
moved in such a way that he could not, and truth be told, did not want to stop.
His cum poured out of him in great pulsing streams. Filling her and taking her
over the edge into her own orgasm. They came together in great paroxysms of
joy.
In those
heaving, writhing moments of pleasure his mind cleared of the mists and his
feelings burst to the surface. He instantly knew what it felt to feel again.
What it meant to want someone. He wanted her so badly in that moment and was so
overjoyed that he had her that he almost choked on the guttural roar that
escaped him. His head flew back and his chest filled and his voice echoed
through the room. Her scream of pleasure met with and joined his roar like in a
song of joy. They sang together until they both ran out of air and voice.
He fell back
onto the bed in sheer exhaustion. Gasping at the air like a drowning man his
chest heaved with each breath he fought to take. She was also gasping and
fighting to breathe. Many minutes later when he could at last breathe normally
he said,
“I remember. I
remember everything” in a voice laced with wonder and surprise. He raised himself
up on one elbow and looked down into her beautiful face.
“Thank You!” he
said with deep sincerity. “You were right. You brought it all back. I can feel
everything again”
“Everything?
Are you sure?” she asked.
“Yes!
Everything! I remember falling from the train. I remember Steve trying to save
me. I remember the fear, the pain, Hydra, everything. My past, all the things I
have done. I am not sure how I will feel about that in time but, right now, I
feel…..overwhelmed”
“I am not
surprised you feel that way, Bucky. Your mind has been through a lot and it
will take time to process it all. But, for the moment you just need to take it
slowly. Let it all settle in its own time”
“You sound just like my therapist” he looked
confused.
“I am your
therapist” she replied. “Remember, this was aimed at possibly restoring your
emotions. We have done that and now it is back to our original relationship”
He stared into
her eyes and saw that she was as conflicted as he.
“I don’t
believe either one of us can return to where we were. Not after this. I
certainly don’t want to be your patient. I want to be more than that now. Don’t
you?”
“Bucky, I would
love to be more than that with you but, and I hate to say this, you might just
be feeling this way because of the huge emotional breakthrough you have just
had. Your emotions are very raw and you need time to readjust to them. Let’s
wait and see shall we?”
7
Bucky got out
of bed and stood up. He turned to face her and her resolve almost flew out the
window. God Almighty he was so beautiful. All she wanted to do was run to him
and hold him forever but, she knew, common sense said to be patient and wait.
They both needed to see if this sudden need to be with her was a true feeling
or just gratitude. Time would tell. He looked crestfallen but, in the end, she
knew he agreed. He came around to her and taking her hands in his looked into
her eyes,
“Okay, but I
will prove to you that this is not just because of what you have just done for
me. It is because I want to be with you. You are beautiful, caring and
compassionate. I could fall in love with you based solely on these traits
alone. Give me a chance to prove to you that I am sincere and won’t let you
down. I will work hard to come back fully and that the only scar I will let
stand is the one I cannot change” he indicated his metal arm.
His eyes told
her that he was indeed sincere yet, her mind told her, they had a long way to
go yet. Still, if she didn’t allow him to prove he could be the man Steve knew
and believed was still in there, then she would never know if his feelings for
her would prove to be true. She wanted to love and be loved by him and, so she
agreed. He took her into his arms and held her to his chest.
“You will never
regret trusting me. I promise you” he said solemnly.
“I believe you
mean that Bucky. I promise to help you in any way I can. We will work together
for as long as it takes okay. But, and I mean this, we cannot make love again
until our work is finished. We must keep this on a purely patient and therapist
level”
“Okay. It will
be beyond hard to not want you but, I will be happy to simply be with you in
any way I can. We will make a future together day by day”
Feeling the
beat of his heart under her hand she knew that its steady rhythm meant he was
telling her the truth. They would indeed work together to build a future. What
that future would turn out to be neither of them could have imagined.
The End….Maybe!!!
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